Oh, Humanity
by That Fantasy Junkie 96
Summary: It took you a while, but you figured out the rest of them, your friends and your brothers. But what about you? What do you fear, Sodapop Curtis?


**I know; I've been doing a lot of one-shots lately. They help me generate ideas for longer stories, which are, she says uneasily, coming soon.**

 **Enjoy.**

 ** _The Outsiders_ belongs to S. E. Hinton.**

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Darry.

Darry fears failure. He fears failing you and your brother. He fears failing the memory of your parents, and himself. That's why he's stubborn, even rigid. Everything has to go his way. Control is as crucial to his survival as breathing. He trusts very few, you being one of the exceptions, so you don't criticize him because you know he criticizes himself more than anyone else ever can. He's the rock that will never crack, the support beam under your back that never snaps. And he's able to be like this because he has to be perfect. He's Superman.

Steve.

Steve fears being forgotten. That's why he can be such an insufferable ass. Love him or hate him - either way, he wants you to pay attention. You pretty much knew that the moment you met him. He called you stupid because he wanted a reaction. Big mistake. He didn't know that you couldn't _stand_ that. You made his nose bleed. You didn't break it, maybe because you saw he was unhappy. He became your best friend when you found him some ice.

Two-Bit.

He fears commitment, which is why he turns everything into a joke. I mean, everyone can see that, right? No one jokes about literally _everything_ for no reason. It's some deep-rooted problem with taking things seriously. Two-Bit prefers the fantasy because the past, present, and future are scary. You don't blame him for his approach to life. No one does. You're just envious that you can't replicate it.

Dally.

Dally fears - let's try this again - _feared_ love. _Isn't that pathetic?_ you hear him say. He feared love and being loved. He didn't become the toughest in your neighborhood, rivaling Tim Shepard for that title, because he formed attachments. But he did, even though he tried not to. He formed attachments with you, your family, Steve and Two-Bit, and especially Johnny. But he was right to fear love, after all; it killed him.

Johnny.

It sounds funny, but he feared being fearless. Fearless means that you've lost something, something important, that you fear nothing because people have taken, taken, and taken from you. And that's terrifying. Johnny wanted to fear. That kept him human.

Ponyboy.

He fears being silenced. He has to be seen, and he has to be heard. He feels things differently than anyone you know. You applaud him. He lets you know when there's a problem. He doesn't bottle it up like you do. He's stronger than you, stronger than Darry in some ways. History was made because of people like him, people who didn't just sit back and accept. Ponyboy Curtis is going places. If they're smart, everyone else will stay out of his way because he will be _noticed_.

You.

Well, what about you?

It took you a while, but you figured out the rest of them, your friends and your brothers. But what about you? What do you fear, Sodapop Curtis?

You fear losing people. Then again, who doesn't? You fear it especially because you know what it feels like.

You also fear inadequacy. You dropped out of school to help out with the bills, sure, but because you were afraid. Hell, you were afraid to even _try_. You don't want to let people down. You fear not being good enough. You weren't good enough for Sandy, and she did something about it. You aren't good enough for your brothers. Why do they fight so much? It has to be because you're not doing your job.

So, you're like your older brother in that sense. Failure and inadequacy aren't too far apart.

Mmm, you're not digging deep enough. You fear something else.

You fear division.

You hate people taking sides and being forced to take sides yourself.

That's why you mediate. You mediate out of necessity because since your parents are gone, who else will do it? But you've been doing it for a while. You once stopped Dally and Tim Shepard from fighting. Yeah, they had other fights before and after that, but you prevented disaster. You can't remember what started it, but you talked them down from cutting each other. Your heart was pounding the whole time. Either one of them could've squashed you like a skinless grape. Darry was there, however, and you trusted him to protect you. You earned Dally and Tim's respect by mediating that day. You were the only one who dared.

So, in the end, you fear that day when people stop listening to you, when Darry and Ponyboy stop listening to you.

Because you'll have lost your purpose.

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 **Yeah, so, this happened. I don't know, how do you feel about it?**

 **That Fantasy Junkie 96**


End file.
